Monday, January 28, 2008

But then I would never get to play with it

Am I the only one that will carry out an entire conversation in my head? I did this the other day when one of my kids came to me with an issue. Somebody else took a toy that they wanted to play with.

Now, whenever one of my children come to me in a whiny or angry tone because of something like this, my first correction is usually towards that child. For example, Child 1 says, "Daddy, child 2 is doing something there not supposed to..." (Yes, due to the number of children we have, we have started calling them by numbers.) Well, my first statement to Child 1 will be, "And what did Child 2 say to you when you told them that." I am trying to instill in my children the principles of Matthew 18. If a brother offends, go to the brother first. It's neat when my children will actually turn to one of their siblings and say, "Sibling, would you please stop doing that..." I'm not lying, that has actually happened!

Anyway, so the other day, something like this is said, "They took the toy I wanted." And it was taken by someone who had no intention of ever giving it back either :) So, here's where I had the conversation in my head...:

Me: "That's OK, be giving, and let him (or her) have it."
Child 1: "But it is mine, and I would not be able to play with it then."
Me: "Let him play with it for now, and then you'll get a chance when he's done. It is a good principle to live by - be giving."
Child 1: "But if I do that all the time, then I will never have the opportunity to have my toy."
Me: about to say, "eventually he'll be done with it, but of course someone else would then want it, and you should want to give it to them too..." that's not gonna work. Then I was going to say, "if you always live in a giving manner, then they will start giving things back to you..." then I realized who else I was talking about, and I really can't imagine them giving back ever... Honestly, I don't remember how that conversation really ended with Child 1, but I learned something from it.

Most people probably would think that dad should step in and give back Child 1 her (or his) toy. But the principle to be taught is that of giving. But most would agree with the child that, Yeah, give, but sometimes it is time for me to play with my toy so I should get it.

If we are trying to be Christ-like, and if we are truly to walk in His steps even through suffering, then it seems the principle to learn is always to give. Yup, you might never have a chance to play with your toy - that's possible, but you will have the chance to do the will of the Father. We just have a problem with the whole, "all the time" part of it. We think we should do good for a while, but then it's ok to enjoy what we think is 'rightfully' ours.

Just a thought...

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

#1 speaking-Daddy?
yes #1
#5 needs a diaper change, do you want me to do it?
Make it so #1
and Daddy?
yes #1
Mommy says that #6 is making her hungry, should I ask #2 to make her a sandwich, I think that #3 and #4 already ate because Mommy said that she was fed up with them today.

Anonymous said...

What damage can be afflicted by refering to your 2nd oldest as "Number Two"?
You may want to rethink the numbering scheme.

Hindsey said...

Tomorrow's Post: The dangers of using humor when trying to make a serious point...

Anonymous said...

I was going to say you might want to say that we really do not call our kids by numbers. We do however call them by the wrong names often, even throwing the dogs name in there sometimes. Which in some cases can be more demeaning than #2. However we do have a good dog (for a dog) :)

Victoria said...

Um, Dave's comment got me wondering; then I went over to Julie's blog and read Sarah's comment - are congratulations in order?

Anonymous said...

not surprised at all that Andy talkes to himself - if only my imaginary friends were so intelligent

Anonymous said...

So Spock, when Child #1 converses in your head she does not use contractions?

Hindsey said...

(Sarah and Vickie's comments excluded from the following. Oh, and Vickie... Yes :))

I remember back in the day when I used to get meaningful comments. Now... oh well.

Victoria said...

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!! :)

Anonymous said...

Hmmm, isn't there some where in the bible where it says, you shouldn't take what isn't yours? Yes, we are to be given, but not let other children or others take what isn't theirs. You might be giving the wrong message, to the child that wants everything, that isn't theirs,as well as the child you are telling to give, that it is Ok to take what isn't yours.

Hindsey said...

Hallelujah! A serious comment!

I mention in my post that my first reaction is usually towards the person that does the whining/complaining to me. As far as teaching the other about taking things that isn't theirs, Yes, I definitely teach them that... But, with the particular instance in my mind in this post, it wasn't my child that did the taking.

But, I can teach the offended child that taking things that isn't yours is wrong (isn't there a Bible word for that?), yet at the same time, teach the self-sacrifice and still give it to them. You know, if someone takes your coat, let him have your cloke also.